Dear TAs,
My mom and dad just got divorced and she started dating a new guy who is a good guy, but i'm just not sure i'm ready for him yet... i want my mom to be happy, but i dont know. I'm praying for God to help me, and i know He hears & cares & acts... but i could still use some advice. Thank you!
~Kara
8th-grade student
Hi Kara!
Thanks for sending in this note -- i'm glad you asked, and with God's help, i may be able to give your some helpful suggestions!
As i sit here and think about your situation, the word (or phrase) that is sticking in my mind is "kindness" or "be kind". That may sound so simple... but i think genuine kindness on your part will go a long way with everyone involved:
Kindness for your Mom -- she's been through a lot with the divorce and coping with the responsibility of becoming a single parent... your heartfelt kindness towards her will really encourage & bless her during a very difficult transition time in her life.
Kindness for your Dad -- his whole world has just turned upside down, too! And if he's anything like i am with my daughters, then you are his princess! A smile, a thoughtful card or letter, a warm hug when you see him -- you have the power to totally transform his day every time you see or speak to him!
Kindness for your Mom's boyfriend -- they're just dating, so you don't have to try to figure out how to live with a Step-Parent just yet. That time may come, but for now, just be your genuine, sweet self towards him. He is getting to know both you and your Mom better -- and just as in any relationship -- you want your words, attitudes, actions, etc. to glorify the Name of Christ. I don't say that to put any pressure on you -- you don't have to be perfect! Just be kind and friendly -- not in a fake way -- but genuinely.
Kindness for yourself -- you've been through a lot, too, with your parents splitting up. Take care of yourself. Do fun things that you enjoy. Take time to relax at least once a week. Talk with God -- tell Him EVERYthing you are feeling & experiencing; and spend time listening to Him speak back to you through His Word. Exercise regularly -- it's great for your body AND a great stress-reliever! And practice healthy eating habits. You'll look & feel better, which will give you greater self-confidence. And it's much easier to maintain a disposition of kindness when you're feeling good emotionally & physically!
I hope this helps -- feel free to ask about anything at any time!
Warmly,
--nick